I’m actually in a library at 7 in the morning. It’s goddamn
amazing.
Wait nope not 7 anymore. I started typing this a while ago
and it would appear that I’m no longer as functional in mind or in body as I
would have otherwise hoped to be. So instead… I’m sitting at this laptop still
giving my heart out. It would appear that since I have such a fucked up sleep
schedule (working off of 4 hours seems plausible for my body and mind for
whatever reason) and the fact that I can’t simply nod off as I had originally
wanted to… Well no I wasn’t planning on actually sleeping here. Nap maybe. Because
I’ve definitely done that in past years. In this grand test of my own abilities
in urban survival, I have found a lovely secluded area that I can tap into Wifi
and continue job hunting.
And at this stage, I’m not going to be as selective. It’s
been a month since I last had valid employment. :/ Yeah it sucks but hey that’s
life for ya. Optimism is seriously going to be the death of me one of these
days. That or processed foods. Probably the former as it’ll tell me that the
latter is actually nourishment and I’ll proceed to be nomming on my McDoom
burger combo with extra-large fries and get an aneurysm from the resulting
complications. Ugh unhealthy world I’m in… and the effects of it are slowly,
but surely killing me.
I wonder if he really expects me to do half of what he’s
subtly hinting at. The BF isn’t a particularly open person about most matters
but when he isn’t, he tries these annoying little mind tricks on me that I don’t
always appreciate. Well it’s not like they aren’t fun to play at sometimes
but at others, it can be a bit of a
bother. Masterminds of dark puppetry hm? Not too far off from the point. Though
I prefer to have my marionettes dance with a level of freedom, I guess at times
I influence them in ways I don’t intend to as well. Hmm. It’s as if I have a
piece of the past simply appeared and change the destinies of hundreds of
people. Or ignore the dispatch and suffer basically the same.
Where was I but a year ago? I was here. Standing in these
shoes yet again. Well no, not exactly these shoes. I’m back in this part of
Florida but I was in a relatively more stable atmosphere than I am now. And I
wasn’t feeling like I’m going crazy… And and and… Oh I need a life ;(
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