Nigel Thornberry was in my dream last night. Ship wrecked upon a tropical island, he ran up a trail to talk with the natives. I had a talisman. Gradients. Shaped like a Bean a large bean with gradients. What looks like Ancient Chinese carved into it. I held power and respect for being a shaman in their community. It felt interesting. And that amulet. I felt as if I had seen it before. It's strangely foggy and yet so close to me.... I want to find it in real life.
In other news. The relationship with the bf is rocky again. It would seem I'm yet again at fault. Or maybe I'm not. It's largely how one views the situation I guess.
I got pissed of in the wee hours of the morning by a douche bag. One does not joke with me about stealing my boyfriend. If that was what he meant. Still not cool.
In general I really don't know.
Meh I'm still not over things it would seem. I'm far from a perfect/ideal/stable minded individual. I breakdown semi-regularly. I end up hurting myself and others. I have destructive moods and suicidal tendencies. And once in a while I'll implode in myself and feel like a worthless wolfie.
Bah, enough of the self-degredation. I'm one of the social zodiac signs. I get smacked around like a street hooker but I have it in me to keep going.. But that in itself is also degrading behavior. It doesn't help much of anything and only causes me to fall deeper into a pit of my own self-loathing.
Whatever this issue is with Kyle. It'll fix itself. And if it doesn't I'll live. It'll hurt. But I'll live.
Always live as if things will last forever. Always be willing to believe they will. Even if they don't. If you can say you tried. Well. That's something powerful isn't it?
No comments:
Post a Comment