As I think about it, I'm fucking racist.
No really, I really am.
And this isn't anything about the whole Boston incident that's on going right now.
Rather I'm racist against my own ethnicity.
And while that sounds stupid as fuck. It really isn't.
It's how I was raised to see everything as competition. How much of my childhood was full of the same bullshit about how I wasn't like the other kids. And why could I be like X or Y or Z. And that. That is the reason I'm racist today.
At the core of it all, I'm a good person. I just hate because I was emotionally trained to. It's part of the reason I can't look at pictures of faces and equally as much a reason why I don't find peace in anything anymore. That feeling that I can't even stare at my own reflection. That is something very troubling.
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