It was moving forward step by step for 4 and a half fucking miles.
Which at the state of mind was supposed to be a 8->9 mile, 2 and a half hour walk. Which to most people is probably nothing. And I'm ok with this but the predecessor to the reason behind me walking such a distance, now that I can begroan upon the world my most sincere displeasure.
As it stands this morning I was awakened to the sound of my cat. Or was it something else? Whatever the case my cat is intricately involved in this as he was somewhere near my feet for much of the evening and was most displeased as I was awakening; as I had pulled the covers aside from which he was sleeping. He glared at me and meowed in the way that he does as if to show his contempt of being moved.
I awoke and showered, soaking my hair. And when I came out, it was brought to my attention that my mother had wanted to go to a softball game at which my younger brother was attending. As it goes, his boyscout troop were acting as honor guards for the anthem before a special needs softball game. Me having no plans at the time agreed to such an interaction agreed to go largely to increase my personal driving skills.
And for that part there was no issue. I grabbed my Horde jacket, and an apple and jumped in my mom's car and drove them to the field in the middle of nowhere. At arrival it was brought to my note that the game they had originally meant to attend was already in progress and that the tardy arrival was solely due to me :/ Well that's a jist of that. I went quiet and pocketed my resentment. Of course I could have voiced my opinion but that wouldn't have mattered now would it? So I just sat there and absorbed it all. Meh.
Give a bit longer. I decide to go for a walk. My mom says it's ok. I don't really have anything to do with either the special needs kids nor the boyscout troupe, but the area seems interesting (generally like exploring). It's a bit nippy and I offer my mom my jacket since she looks cold. She stubbornly refuses saying that her scarf is more than enough. I *sigh* to myself, pop the headphones in and walk off.
The grass is mostly dry beneath my feet. The area actually settled by people has a college townhouse feel to it all. I'm sitting there wondering about it all and decide nothing more. A few minutes later after walking around the retention pond I note that there isn't much to do and walk back to the field and game already in progress.
Oh look, mom isn't there. Like seriously SHE LEFT ME AND DROVE OFF... You know how in cartoons how when the characters suddenly realize something's missing by seeing a cheesy outline of the object blinking a few times and the obvious displacement of it? Well yeah that sort of thing happened to me.
Anyway I walk around, see that I have a missed call from my mom and message/call back several times. No response. I walk around the parking lot and oh look the car is seriously gone. I walk towards the crowd of parents/onlookers assuming my little brother is there. Nope. A black couple comes up to me and asks if I'm lost. Nope, my mom just drove off without me. They look puzzled and I just walk off.
At this point I have come to the assumption of 2 things. 1. As I can't find my younger brother. Something probably relating to him probably happened. Thusly she's expecting me to walk the 9 miles home because she's biked here before and though nippy, there is no inclement weather likely. 2. If I stay around too much longer, the simple fact that I'm the only Asian person there; the fact that I am a guy; and the fact that I am alone will probably get the parents riled up thinking that I'm a pedophile (no I'm not). Don't feel like having to explain to the cops why my mom isn't picking up her phone, nor do I feel like having to try and explain why mom left me there.
So at this time I'm like ok, *pulls out phone* Oh look it's a 9 mile walk home. Estimated travel time? 2 hours 18 minutes. The whole subsection is designed for rich white people (no I'm not lying the houses are like $300k+ for the basics and some of them seriously go into the million range), and the landscapers paved sidewalks on both sides of the road for much of the 9 miles out of the compound. Which I guess is a blessing of many sorts even though I don't have any water on me and my entire breakfast consisted of 1 fuji apple.
Having no reason to stay, I started walking. And thinking back on it. It was perfect weather to walk. Much of the route was shaddy and I pulled the hood on my jacket on to protect my ears from the wind. And so I walked. One mile then another. I listened to Dragostea Din Tei (numa numa), Crystal Kay stuff and playlists that I had created several years back. The songs were really a nice throw back to a past me. A calmer, less rational, more naive me. And I reveled in that memory. With it in mind, I kept walking, conjuring up magically un-realistic scenarios of things that I could do, or say and plans of leaving this place (with all the money that people offered to help me get out of here, I just need to set a date and pack to make it all happen, but being too rash on any situation is bad)
2 miles in I pass someone. They move to the other side of the sidewalk as if purposely avoiding me. I don't give a damn and let him. Runners tend to avoid me for whatever reason, and even in white neighborhoods, friendly smiles are few, greetings fewer. 4 and a half miles later and I hear honking. I turn and guess who I see.
Yep it's my mom.
So I get in and the first thing she says is: "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU FOR THE PAST HOUR!" I'm much calmer about the issue. I calmly state that I called her 3 times and texted her asking where you were. "MY PHONE DIED."
Yep this whole issue was because my mom is forgetful and refuses to keep a phone charger in the car. Apparently as the story goes on she didn't think it through and left me because she was cold and was too stubborn to accept my jacket. She had tried contacting me but her phone died. So instead of borrowing another parent's phone to call me on, she decided to drive off.
When we get home she tells me that she couldn't charge her phone because there was only one charger in the house for i____ products. At this point I'm just too pissed off to really give a damn anymore. BUT this is BS and I'll explain why. You see. My family (not me) owns 1 ipad, 2 ipod touches, and 2 iphones. BUT! They only have 1 charger for all 5 items. Someone else chime in with BULLSHIT please :)
Ah yes the reason why my mom abandoned me and didn't bother contacting me was because there was only 1 charger for all 5 apple products in the house and because she didn't have common sense enough to borrow a phone or charge hers. Oh that reminds me she still isn't charging her phone.
Most of this day has been ok otherwise. My cat is contently sitting on my legs. And I got my mom a cheap, but tasteful gift. It's below.
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| An - Serenity |
The character isn't perfect. The frame nice but not perfect either. Phonetically it's the character An. "An" in this sense can be part of "Anjin" or "pingan". The base form with the singular character can thusly be translated to somewhere around the lines of serenity, peace or tranquility. I know my mom doesn't have much to adorn her work desk, so I'm hoping this will add a nice touch. It's tasteful in the sense that chocolates would have been a waste (family doesn't appreciate good cocoa) and flowers would wither quickly. This gift, a Chinese character that I readily recognize works in that it gives a sense of space. Serenity is a state of mind, tranquility a state of body. In recognizing the importance of both, I give her my gift of well wishes above all else. Well the card I selected at Hallmark was a nice touch too. Much in my style it was concise, neat and envelope matched the bag I put it in.
So yeah today was productive. Because it can be. And because I let it be.
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