06/30/12 My family is made of bigots.

Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr. described bigotry in the following quotation: "The mind of a bigot is like the pupil of the eye; the more light you pour upon it, the more it will contract."

More or less this is a great way of thinking of the family I was raised in.


It's funny actually I'm going to type this huge dissertation of what's on my mind and the parents will likely stumble on this and they'll filter it out and call me a good for nothing, and any other number of words that are either rude, hurtful or generally mean spirited. After which they'll tell me that I should have killed myself because I'm too much of an embarrasment to them. And if they don't say it outright, they're thinking it.

But then again. That doesn't stop me from living. If I must live out of spite alone, that too is a reason to live.

But I'm not living out of spite. I live because I have a purpose. I'm going to be happy. I refuse to let them cause me to feel any other way. Well Ok, to be honest I haven't given a damn about anything they've said for what the past few years now?

I've long come to accept that they're such low self-esteemed people who only know how to bring down other people. And that they can only exist because they can't/won't admit their own inadequacies.

So let's break down everyone in this family.

I'll start with myself. I'm not perfect. I don't claim to be. But I have within me the gift of dreams. Well my rogue-ish charm doesn't hurt. Able to get on just about anyone's good side or bad side, I know what I have and I know how to use it.

I've achieved a lot in this life time. I've fallen in love, learned to forgive someone who's hurt me, brought happiness into someone's life. Hell I've stopped a person from killing themselves by being their for them. And no one can take that away from me.

There is a saying that it is through self-realization and empowerment that one can truly uplift themselves. I realize that I have not attained my dream. And I will strive for that path every day.

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Oh look I just got called a worthless thing that doesn't get to be called a human; a pig is better than me. Why? The pin on the edger fell out while I was working. Yep. This is my life.

I have no sympathy for these people. The person I call my father will die alone. If he chooses to push everyone away; they'll eventually see the light and leave him to his own demise.

It's funny really. I don't respect either of my parents. Should I? Probably. "It's the Asian thing to do."

Is it? My Mom won't stand up for herself. She tells me I'll never achieve anything and when I do, she makes up accusations to prover her point. It's funny. She claims even to have friends. She doesn't.

Oh I was talking about standing up for herself wasn't I? She never learned how to obviously. Hell my father beat her a few times and she comes back begging like some damn dog. She'll never learn I suspect. Hell a dog will run away from it's owner if it's abused enough. Not her though.

You don't believe me? I've got a lovely story for you then. I have a memory. One evening a year or 2 ago. "Come down stairs and make sure these marks aren't noticeable." WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE? Oh that's right. Domestic violence. Any decent person would have gone to the police and gotten that person who beat them to this point arrested. Not my family :) They're so stupid that they can't even see what's wrong.

Yeah she's still with him. You know the kind of people that allow themselves to stay in an abusive relationship? I'll stereotype them but crackwhores. Yep. Emotionally dependent to the point of stupidity.

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Am I being too mean for reality and society to tolerate. I'm only speaking the truth. If anyone would say otherwise, let them prove that I am a liar first.