02/06/12 Thinking Out Loud

So while talking with a friend or rather commenting on her status; facebook noted that the following video was part of  a link my friend posted.

And then I was like hm... That's cute. And old.

As I continued into the comments of other people I was notified that yes there was a football-esque related racism controversy sparking and what not.

The Chinese person sitting at this desk responding, of course, doesn't give 2 shits about this subject. Because while yes I find it somewhat offensive in the the story that was posted (Granted that I accept that many people AMERICANS INCLUDED fuck up the English language, and past experiences with non-adept members of Asian culture sowed the seeds of racial language stereotyping; I still find it offensive when Americans emphasize this fact), at the same time the subject matter on hand was quite interesting.

America is in debt. No one will deny that. As I noted and from what I remember from American history back in the 10th grade... America has been in debt for the past what 200+ years ish? ISH.

Which is to say I don't really know statistics and like many other Americans I don't give a shit the exact date as long as the core of my informational context is correct. Among other things I stand in a unique location in the present time/space continuity. While outwardly I am 100% Chinese (hell I was born there which makes me a native pure blood :p); I've been raised amongst Americans and I forsee myself marrying one, one of these days.

That being said I am eternally torn between worlds. On one side I am expected to "act" Asian because that is how the heritage of my forefathers sees it. On the other, my upbringing dictates that I am different from everyone else. To treat me like the others is a farce if there ever was such a thing. Ah but that doesn't explain the conundrum. I stand in between these two very different schools of thinking. One ancient, the other not nearly as much. As I examine the concepts found in each, I have yet to wonder where exactly I belong.

Do I belong to the side that I embrace, who's doctrine I can help create? Or do I keep to the ways of old and become a descendent of my forefathers?

HMMMMMMMMMMMM...

In other news I just finished a bar of white chocolate. IT WAS SO GOD DAMN SWEET >:( Which is to say that while I thoroughly enjoyed the flavor as the mild nuttyness of the coconut was very delicious and the flaked/ground nature of the same added a delightful mouthfeel contrast; the sugar content of the whole bar (which I realize wasn't the creators intention for me to consume the whole bar in one sitting in less than 10 minutes) was too god damn high for my palate. I am now thinking that I will suffer most indignantly from the high sucrose content until I succumb either to violent and uncontrollable spasms of sugar intoxication or I say fuck this and go down stairs for a bottle of tap water.

As I think further on the matter. This chocolate really does work for me. Not in the sense that I'd die without it or anything. Rather it's the preparation and presentation. Like I noted before the flavor and texture of this particular piece are very pleasing to the palate (even if the sugar content is dis favorable); The particular way the product is in neat squares and in a white and yellow paper container is also most agreeable and probably part of why I even contemplated and grabbed it. Ah tis how I think.

Anyway I am once again rambling but I have let a good piece of my soul pour into this particular written form. I'll have to let the soulshards recharge a bit before I leak too much of my essence into this form and create a deviant being that wishes to wage war against me!

02/05/12 Rosemary Smoke.

Rosemary or Rosemarium or whatever it is called in whatever language you may be speaking and/or reading is an amazing herb. Native to the Mediterranean coast, the hardy bush/shrub produces delicate yet amazing volatile oils that as I've found out cause horrid amounts of smoke EVERYWHERE...

Well it's not to say the steaks I made weren't delicious. The rich blend of allspice berries, fresh malabar coast black pepper and mustard seeds that I had used as the crust blended oh so perfectly when I rubbed them into the texture of the meat. The sea salt that I would have preferred to use was sadly unavailable and so I substituted with regular salt.

The deliciousness of the aromatic rosemary smoke permeated the flesh of the steak and produced a wonderful taste that I will note and be happy about for a long time.

02/04/12 So much for a Nap.

I just got back to my laptop just now. From my nap. It's warm outside. My head feels funny and my lips are parched. I grab for the seemingly random bottle of reduced fat milk that seems almost too conveniently placed at my desk and ponder to myself if this will really help or hurt me.

At one point of the spectrum. This is a liquid something that should help add much needed moisture to the intense dry that must have woken me up in the first place. On the opposite end, this is a sweet beverage. One that will add a sickly layer of milk proteins and artificial sucrose into my body. Undoubtedly it will only prolong my dehydration and make me suffer ever the more should I sit here and beg for water.

Of course the most logical fix to this conundrum is to abstain from the incorrect thinking of the dangers of traveling downstairs and instead venture there to refill a portable container (plastic) with enough H2O that I may sustain myself for the rest of the evening upon it's life giving moisture.

But enough of this conundrum. I grip the straw from the side of the package and stab at the metallic covered square that is designed for the point of entry. My first stab hits home but is deflected by the strength of the packaging material. I try again this time focusing squarely on the center of the square. The force hits home again and as in it's style it works and I devour the small receptacle of milk proteins cocoa and sugar.

It's a horribly sweet flavor for my dry palate. But I crave the moisture it offers and I suffer through. One gulp and then another, each drop a meaning to move forward. Even if it'll hurt me in the long run, I strive and make myself content with it.

And with that it is all over. The container is empty of milk and I am mostly content. Other than the sticky after flavor in my mouth I am Ok. #Winning?